Why Honesty is the Best Policy: Building Trust in Your Match Search

In the world of online dating, it can be easy to get caught up in the game of trying to present the best version of yourself. You may be tempted to fudge a little on your age or your career, or to throw up a picture from a few years back when you were a bit more svelte. But the truth is, honesty really is the best policy when it comes to building trust in your match search.

Why Honesty Matters

Let’s start with the obvious: nobody likes being lied to. When you’re looking for a potential match, you want to know that the person you’re chatting with is being upfront about who they are and what they’re looking for. This means being honest not just about your physical appearance, but also about your personality, interests, and intentions.

But beyond the simple fact that dishonesty is a turn-off, there are a number of other good reasons to prioritize honesty in your online dating profile:

  • You’ll attract the right kind of people: When you’re honest about who you are and what you’re looking for, you’re more likely to attract people who share your values and interests. By contrast, if you’re dishonest, you may attract people who are a poor fit for you, based on the false impression you’ve given them.
  • You’ll avoid awkward conversations later on: If you’re not honest up-front, you’re setting yourself up for some potentially uncomfortable conversations down the line. For example, if you’re really 10 years older than what you claimed, your match may be confused or put off when they finally meet you in person. Being honest from the get-go can help avoid scenarios like this.
  • You’ll set the tone for the relationship: By being honest about your intentions and expectations, you’ll set the tone for the relationship going forward. If you’re looking for something casual and they’re looking for something serious, it’s important to be upfront about that from the beginning, so that nobody gets hurt down the line.

How to Be Honest in Your Profile

Now that we’ve established why honesty is so important, let’s talk about some concrete ways to be honest in your online dating profile:

Choose recent photos

Make sure to choose photos that represent what you look like today—not 10 years ago, and not on your best day ever. While it can be tempting to want to present a perfect image of yourself, the reality is that people appreciate authenticity more than perfection.

Be upfront about your age

If you’re 35, say you’re 35. Don’t try to pass yourself off as 28 in an attempt to attract younger matches. Remember, the goal is to attract people who are a good fit for you—not to trick people into going on a date with you.

Don’t misrepresent your interests

If you’ve never been camping in your life, don’t say that you love to camp. And if you’re a vegan, be upfront about that—don’t pretend that you’re an omnivore just to appeal to a wider audience. At the end of the day, you want to find someone who shares your interests and values, so there’s no point in misrepresenting yourself.

Be honest about what you’re looking for

Are you looking for a serious relationship, or something more casual? Are you interested in someone who’s just looking for a quick fling, or someone who’s looking to get married in the next year? Be honest about your intentions, so that everyone is on the same page from the get-go.

The Bottom Line

In the end, honesty really is the best policy when it comes to online dating. By being honest about who you are and what you’re looking for, you’ll attract the right kind of people, avoid awkward conversations later on, and set the tone for the relationship going forward. So don’t be afraid to be yourself—because as the saying goes, there’s someone out there for everyone.